Written by Kacie Thomas
Helen Borley of Modesto loved sewing. She used to let her children pick out the patterns and fabric for the clothes she made. Her daughter, Julie Nelson, is honoring Helen’s creativity with “Cars, Crafts and Community for the Cure,” a fundraiser for The Longest Day.
Developing a passionfor sewing and creativity
Julie Nelson credits her mother for inspiring her family to fight the Alzheimer’s disease through the arts. When Julie and her five siblings were growing up, Helen was a stay-at-home mom. “She was just like June Cleaver,” Julie shared.
Julie never had store-bought clothes. No one ever knewthat the family didn’t have much money, because Helen made her dresses.
Helen took Julie and her siblings to the local craftstore to get patterns and fabric. “I would go to school and come home to abrand new, homemade dress,” Julie said. “It was amazing.”
Helen continued the tradition into the next generation.She would make dresses and Easter bunnies for all 26 of her grandchildren. Juliedeveloped a passion for costume-making and creativity because of her mother.
The early signs
While Helen passed away within 18 months of being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2011, Julie noticed that things weren’t quite right years before Helen’s diagnosis.
In 2005, Julie, her sister and Helen traveled to Europe.“I have the best memories of her in 2005,” Julie said.
While physically, Helen seemed fine, Julie noticed acouple of personality changes. “She got really mean to people,” Julie said. “Momsaid, ‘Better off to be a mean old lady than a nice one,’ and that was neverher.”
Julie initially shrugged this off as Helen’s feelings toward being widowed. Later she realized that it was an early sign that something was wrong.
In 2007, Helen had a medical episode. When Julie tookHelen to the doctor, they asked what medicines she was taking.
Helen didn’t know her medications, even though she hadbeen taking them on her own. “That was my big wake-up call,” shared Julie. “Itmade me realize we need to manage her medicines better.”
The onset ofAlzheimer’s
In 2007, Julie went over to her mother’s rental homebecause there was an issue with the air conditioner. While Helen knewelectrical circuits very well, she couldn’t recall the words “air conditioner.”
She pointed to it and called it a “silver box.” Justa few minutes later, she couldn’t remember the word, “orange.” Julie scheduledan appointment for Helen to see her doctor. He diagnosed Helen with generalizedmemory loss.
Separation and struggle
Julie was the only local daughter and had to tell her mother that she couldn’t drive anymore. “Having to do that was tough,” shared Julie. “She was still verbal and living independently but it wasn’t safe for her to drive.”
Shortly after, the family decided to move Helen to a memory care center. “Her favorite thing to do was watch The Hallmark Channel,” Julie said. “She wanted to sit together and hold hands.”
Helen’s final days
Helen had been at the memory care center for about a year.To help try and keep memories alive, Julie and her family put up pictures withtheir names.
“I didn’t wait for her to guess,” Julie said. “I alwaysjust came in, said my name and told her I love her.”
Julie has a suggestion for other caregivers. “Always talk to them even if they’re not going to respond,” encouraged Julie. “They hear you.”
During Helen’s final days, she was hearing impaired.Right before Helen passed away, Julie and all but one of her siblings hadchecked in.
Julie asked her mom if she needed to hear from Tom,Julie’s brother. “Her eyes lit up,” Julie said. “I put the phone up to her earas she was actively dying, and he told her it was ok to go.”
Taking actionthrough the arts
Julie’s children never forgot about how Helen’screativity touched their lives. Julie’s daughter, Katrina Nelson, has made ither mission over the last three years to research how brain activity in olderadults could be impacted by art.
The first year Julie participated in The Longest Day, sheinvited friends and artists from the community to a barbecue and swim party ather home. Katrina live-streamed an art lesson to everyone in her living room.“She was part of it even though she was hundreds of miles away,” Julie said.
A family affair
In 2018, Julie and Katrina were busy planning Katrina’s wedding. Julie’s son, Ryan Nelson, created and ran the family’s event for The Longest Day.
Ryan got his coworkers from CarMax to help him host a car show. The CarMax Cares program helps their employees support nonprofits that are important to them.
This year is the Nelson family’s third year participatingin The Longest Day to honor Helen. They are combining Julie and Katrina’s loveof arts and crafts with Ryan’s interest in cars. “Cars, Crafts and Communityfor the Cure” will combine a car show with a craft fair and food vendors.
They are holding the family-friendly event on Saturday, June 22. It will be at Dutch Hollow Farms in Modesto, popular for their spring tulips and fall pumpkin patch. They have already raised over $900 towards their $10,000 goal.